


A Leader

by Gemi



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Genre: Angst, Gen, SAINW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 15:22:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/623640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemi/pseuds/Gemi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his visit to another world, Donatello doesn't want to become more than he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Leader

Leaders were often looked upon.  
  
He understood why; they were the ones that were mentioned in the books, the ones that grabbed the spot-light. They made the decisions. They had their way.   
  
Leonardo was a leader.   
Donatello was not, and neither would he want to be one.    
  
Because leaders did things, and they did those for a reason.   
Good leaders followed their brain, not their heart. And despite his overly large brain… Donatello knew that he still followed his heart, and only that.   
He knew big words and he knew how to form junk into something to use. He knew things, but he never followed cold facts.   
He followed his heart, and the foolish things it wanted.   
  
A leader didn't do that.   
  
Leonardo used to. He used to grant pity, comfort. Safety for those that didn't belong to their family. He used to listen to false pleads.   
But that time passed; Leonardo lived. He became a true leader, one who manipulates in order to win.   
And for Leonardo, Donatello knew, winning was to see their family the next day. To see them as warm bodies, instead of cold.   
To hear words fall from their lips.   
  
Donatello couldn't blame Leonardo for that. And he didn't.   
Would never do so.  
  
But sometimes, he blamed their father. Because he remembered a different world.   
Filled with poison, with gloom and doom. Limbs and eyes missing, too many scars and twisted personalities.   
They told him what they thought happened. What they believed, but wanted to doubt.  
  
In that world, Donatello had gained the role of a leader.   
  
Not his choice. But their father had given it to him, perhaps even forced it upon him.   
Leonardo had left to train, and he had stayed for more than the year he should have done.   
And they told Donatello how he, his other self, had begun to break down.   
Sharp tongue and hunched shoulders. Pain and moodiness and something bitter.   
Something they wanted to erase, even as they, in their own despair, fed it.   
  
But Leonardo had come back. Had taken back the role as a leader.  
  
It should have gotten better.   
  
And it did,  _it did_ , they said. It had gotten better.   
Their family had been whole; Donatello had become Donnie once more. Everything was good. Everything was alright. They survived, they lived. They were a family.  
  
And then the role was placed upon Donatello once more.   
Their leader had become blind, the Foot's newest poison burning away his sight.   
They had needed a leader. And Donatello had been the choice.   
  
He had been the choice.   
  
And, in the end, he had accepted that. He had sunk back down to badly hidden pains and the too sharp tongue.   
He wasn't a good leader, but neither was he the worst there was.   
He had been alright, they said. Voices soft, voices mourning. He had been alright.  
  
But the role of a leader tore him apart.   
His decisions were made with his heart. He couldn't distance himself from the battle, from the Foot's constant victories.   
He couldn't stop mourning Leonardo's sight, Raphael's lost eye.   
It all tore him apart.   
  
One day, the other Donatello had made a choice.  
  
And he had disappeared because of it.  
  
  
Leaders were looked upon.   
They were given respect, fear and love. They were powerful.  
  
Donatello never wanted to play that role.   
  
Never again would he watch his brothers die.


End file.
